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Six months down. Thats a significant chunk of time to be out of action. Id like to think i’m at about 80% back to normal. Most days I’m more asleep than i’m awake and the shitty days are less frequent, thank goodness. Other than rehab, apps are less demanding and less frequent. 

After nearly five weeks of trying to get back in, yesterday was my 1st day back into Crunch Gym. i officially no longer exist in limbo. (Please “like” my FB business page, Amelia Peters PT) i absolutely loved being back with my crew. I bumped into a couple of familiar faces also, and that too made my day with the genuine hugs, handshakes and convos exchanged. My main goal is/was to not look sick. i’m getting there, i’m not as ‘swollen’ and my baseball caps are put away. I’m getting a bit braver to walk with my head up instead of staring through the floor.

Hospital last Friday they wanted to increase my steroids back up again as i still have cancerous lumps i can see and feel in my tummy. Docs have asked i see another Neurologist external from Peter Mac as my trembling hands are constant and heads starting to jolt out again too. At night i have to shove my thumb and forefinger in my eyes to hold my eyelids closed to get to sleep because they flicker too hard and too much. I was hoping it was due to diabetes but guess thats a negative. As i’m a know-it-all i haven’t followed dox orders regarding bumping up the steroids. Instead, i’ve jigged with other meds, and will play by ear/feels. I mean, i’m the only one who lives w the consequences so trial and error.

I went back and read a couple of my previous blogs. Had to stop because ‘feels’. Fuck me ive come a long way. Im glad to have written them so i can reflect on how far i have come. I forgotten so much, and i dont want to forget. It was really hard building myself up to be capable of doing the things most people take for granted- walking, dressing myself, driving, showering, writing, cooking, sleeping, riding travelators. I couldnt watch tele nor read books. Grateful for my true friends, constantly checking in on me and whisking me out of the house for little excursions. Ive never brunched so hard before. Ill also never take my smother mother for granted. So grateful for her love, constant support and attention. Driving me to every single appointment without a fuss but plenty roadrage. For being my cheerleader when i made even the smallest of improvements, hearing out my every meltdown, and never leaving my side when i was in my own head stuck in a rutt. 

People tell me im inspirational, but I am chronically ill, not by choice. Im just Amelia. Im doing my best with the cards i been dealt, often without grace as there have been a  fair few tears shed and tantrums thrown.

Theres alot in life I don’t know, but I do know myself a little more. I’m working with what i got, and ill do my very best to put my best foot forward. Im still unraveling the lessons from this stint, but even more so now i see that tomorrow is not promised. So, I wish for you a long, healthy life filled with lots of good love and laughter

Thankyou for reading my braindump. Thank you for letting me be honest.

Yours truly

Amelia

PS: Id be extremely grateful if you liked my FB page, and left a review 

And perhaps a Google rating/review too please?

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